you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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