I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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