yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
