One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
