He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize