we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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