Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
