Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish I only lived at night.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
