i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
