when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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