he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
