There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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