I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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