I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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