i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
