Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
