You made me cry and you don't even care
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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