nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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