Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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