so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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