this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
