Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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