"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
