Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize