We should be called the Road Head Warriors
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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