how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
