Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cockslap morals
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
