Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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