He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
