The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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