Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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