yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
