I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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