not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
