I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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