I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
