The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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