one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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