i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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