This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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