OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize