I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize