I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
