So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
