carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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