I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
