So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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