So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's rum buckets o'clock
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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