If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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