I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
