Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize