Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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