Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
