I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
