a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize