I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
