remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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