and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
