my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
pray to the hookup gods
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
