Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Houston, we have a squirter
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize