So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize