i permit you to call me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
