He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize