Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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