he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
