Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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