only if we run a train.
done.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If I die, sorry about rent.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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