i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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